I’ve long been haunted by the memory of a stay in Paris’s Latin Quarter where I was kept awake all night by a woman in a nearby room screeching bokeh so loudly that I wondered if I should offer to perform an exorcism.

When I mentioned the ‘miaulement’ (the delectable French word for crot caterwauling) to the receptionist the next morning, bokeh she rolled her eyes and bokep declared the woman an ‘actrice’, porn or crot sex worker.

Now, crot according to this new study bokep from the ever-liberal Swedes, memek it all makes scientific sense. It confirms what most women know and bokep all men dread – the louder the cry of ecstasy, crot the greater the chance the orgasm is being faked. In other words, bokep you can’t measure passion in terms of decibels: porn there’s sex as performance porn art, bokep and porn sex as genuine intimacy. And memek when a woman is genuinely aroused, bokep trusts her partner and porn is not fearing for memek memek a fragile male ego, porn she’s far more likely to gently sigh and memek moan than shriek like the rabid super-vixen in my Parisian hotel.

In my days editing The Erotic Review magazine, bokep female contributors regularly confessed to faking orgasms. It was generally on an occasional basis, bokep they’d explain, porn so they could make their partner feel happy, bokep while conserving their energy for bokep other tasks in hand. This was the conclusion of another study by two researchers from the University of Central crot Lancashire. They declared that erotic decibels were all about manners and crot ‘manipulation’, bokeh and crot that women were prone to what they described as ‘copulatory vocalisation’ in order to encourage their partners over the finishing line, porn so to speak.

A new study confirms the louder the cry of ecstasy, porn the greater the chance the orgasm is being faked (Stock Image

It was like saying: porn ‘I’m enjoying this, porn but can you get a bloomin’ move on.’ Sound familiar, bokeh ladies?

The only other reason to screech like a demented hyena is if your sex education comes from porn, porn where loud always equals better.

As a woman from Sunderland porn said in 2014 after neighbours complained that her memek sexual yowling drowned bokeh out their TVs: crot ‘As far as I’m concerned, bokeh that’s what you should be doing.’

Well, bokep only if you want to attract a certain kind of attention.

In their book, bokeh Sex At Dawn, crot Christopher Ryan and bokep Cacilda Jetha concluded the most likely reason women were noisy during sex – porn based on observation of our nearest primate cousins – was to alert nearby males that they were fertile and porn keen to copulate.

If you’re a sex worker, bokeh I can understand bokeh the need to advertise. But if you’re not, crot then men should take heed: crot the best sex may just be the quietest.

Paris